Andrew and I have had so many adventures in such a short amount of time. We moved to Colorado temporarily, and saw God provide everything we needed and more. We moved back to the constantly-freezing area we both grew up in, and are settling back into life here, but also chiseling out our own, new life together. Finding an apartment has been tough, and we still haven’t lived by ourselves yet. Looking for new jobs and figuring life out has been keeping us busy, as well as getting ready for Christmas and becoming used to the idea of having a baby. Surprise!
The most important thing I’ve learned for our marriage, so far, is to not be a dream-squasher (a term my parents, brother and I stole from Everybody Loves Raymond; the clip is about 20 seconds in from the start of this video I found on youtube. Watch it, it’s funny).
Why is that so important, you ask? We all have dreams. We all want things that haven’t happened yet, and who has the most influence on a husband’s outlook for their future? His wife. My husband wants to go to graduate school ($80,000 a year and we’re going to have a 3-month-old when the semester would start). He wants to work with NASA (He’s 6’2″). He doesn’t do everything perfectly. And guess what? He’ll never do anything that will hurt his family. Even when it was just thinking about the future for the two of us, we were a family and I was secure in knowing he would never, ever do anything to jeopardize or hurt his family. Sure he spent money to bring cleaning supplies to his brothers, and is also stopping to pick up breakfast, and we don’t even have jobs or an apartment of our own. I can think of ways that little chunk of money could be saved and spent on something I would deem “better.” That doesn’t mean the money isn’t being spent well. It doesn’t mean my husband’s time or resources are being wasted. He is spending them the way he sees best. I get to be the one who sees him bless others! I get to see the ways God has provided for us, and the ways we get to share with others.
I do continue to struggle at times with the ways my husband uses our resources, but that is my struggle, and a blessing when he lights up because I’ve said in words, “Alright, have fun!” and with my heart, “You are my man. I support you. I trust you.”
“You are the most handsome of all. Gracious words stream from your lips. God himself has blessed you forever. Put on your sword, O mighty warrior! You are so glorious, so majestic! In your majesty, ride out to victory, defending truth, humility, and justice. Go forth to perform awe-inspiring deeds! Your arrows are sharp, piercing your enemies’ hearts. The nations fall before you, lying down beneath your feet.” Psalm 45.2-5